Tuesday, May 3, 2011

Stately, Indeed

In a state where almost every kid lives close enough to a mall to ride a bike to one, the answer to the question, do we need American Dream @ Meadowlands is obviously no, but mostly for us no-funzniks who think malls are the incarnation of Hell.

In a state that is $43 billion in debt, where the governor has waged a war against everything the public needs such as social services, public services, police, fire department and education, the answer to the question, do we need to help pay for American Dream @ Meadowlands is "are you fucking kidding me?" This article from northjersey.com discusses the press conference and some of the latest details.

At a press conference today, New Jersey Kubla-In-Chief Chris Christie officially announced the deal to line the pockets of the new developers of New Jersey's favorite commercial orgy-plex-to-be with taxpayer financed, borrowed money. It was also an opportunity to announce that the original site that was called Xanadu will now occupy more square footage and feature even more ludicrous attractions than the original design, such as an aquarium and a glass-domed indoor amusement park with roller coasters.

The infamous exterior, which prompted Christie to dub the complex the "ugliest damn building in the state" will get a new look that will hopefully be suitable to Kubla Christie's taste. The world's largest Pepsi logo, a.k.a. the massive Ferris wheel, is still apparently going to be part of the center's final design.

Triple Five, the new owners and linguistic innovators who presented us with the site's patriotic new moniker claim that American Dream @ Meadowlands is projected to attract 50 million visitors each year. That's a tall order, and a generous prediction, and I won't be surprised if we see the building occupied by rats before long. But it seems to me that the vision of everyone involved is to take money from the taxpayers in an effort to convert them into creatures who live and play exclusively indoors.

The latest news on this hideous project has inspired the New York Times to sponsor a poetry contest, asking readers to submit their own re-writes of the Samuel Taylor Coleridge poem that inspired the original idea for the project. Congratulations to Steve Schoenwiesner of Montclair, NJ. Late tonight I'll post the latest progress on my personal inspiration regarding the human zoo formerly known as Xanadu.

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